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    • 4 Core Tips for Sexy Abs and Less Belly Fat.

      76% of our visitors would love to have a better looking gut, tummy, mid line, stomach (from a webpoll taken on Sexnfries 2015) Tip One: Although muscles play an important role in looking slim around the middle, getting rid of that accumulated fat helps. Sounds obvious but sometimes core exercises can strengthen the core muscles and increase abdominal pronouncement, which means if there could be belly fat over the muscle and even under the muscle you are building, making your stomach look bigger. Be realistic with a fitness plan. It takes more than one thing to get your dream abs. You can find tons of diets and exercises that target the abs and promise results. You may find yourself trying to eat more broccoli or doing crunches endlessly. Over all fitness routines with whole body nutrition and fitness plans work best. Look outside of the core workout. Tip Two: Core workouts are the best for working towards the sexy tummy you so desire, when you are toning those areas. Eating healthy is a factor but overall health is the one key that will allow your abs to follow suit. Don’t concentrate on one area especially your stomach parts, you will tire of it all quickly. Eating better for the rest of your life and working out so all your muscles help you burn fat all over, will amaze you on how your abs will turn and smile. Look at the big picture, whole body health works best. Tip Three: As you notice, the tips here involve a total body exercise routine and healthier nutritional choices. Spot fixes don’t work. Belly fat is the hardest to get rid of but not impossible. It might be the last to disappear which can be very frustrating. Belly fat covers your sexy abs but also it did not get there overnight and now has been totally happy also protecting your major organs, even if that reason is unjust. Be patient and do not give up. Tip Four: Being sexy all over takes some doing, even inside of your head. Don’t waste time on just your stomach but work for your goals, a sexy mind can be a powerful thing. Your body follows your mind: stress, depression, moods and giving up can hinder any fitness plan. Stress and Stress hormones contribute to holding onto fat Wellness Workshops

    • When I Forgot to Dance

      When the sadness starts to take over, the phobias start to win. Feelings of being powerless in my surroundings take over. Walls are thicker in my head and heaviness makes me feel weak. Usually people with anxiety disorders hide it really well, although in their minds they think everyone can tell. Social Anxiety is a very self centered condition. Your mind tells you that everyone is looking at you and judging you. This is where you lose yourself, when the mind fools you into something that is not real. The sick thing about it, is that the more you avoid social situations the worse it gets. The mental anquish now makes you physically ill. Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older (18% of U.S. population). Anxiety disorders develop from a complex set of risk factors, including genetics, brain chemistry, personality, and life events. As I started looking into numbers and facts of anxiety and stress-related disorders, I realized I was not alone and was one of those numbers. Knowing this , really did not help but gave me a starting place. Some numbers to fall into... Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) affects 6.8 million adults, or 3.1% of the U.S. population. Women are twice as likely to be affected as men. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) affects 2.2 million, 1.0% equally common among men and women. Hoarding is the compulsive purchasing, acquiring, searching, and saving of items that have little or no value. Panic Disorder 6 million, 2.7% Women are twice as likely to be affected as men. Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) 7.7 million, 3.5% Women are more likely to be affected than men. Social Anxiety Disorder 15 million, 6.8% equally common among men and women, typically beginning around age 13. Specific Phobias 19 million, 8.7% Women are twice as likely to be affected as men. Anxiety and Depression usually go hand in hand and it is not uncommon for someone with an anxiety disorder to also suffer from depression or vice versa. When plagued with anxiety disorder, other disorders rear their ugly heads putting things into a much more complicated situation. •Bipolar disorder •Eating disorders •Headaches •Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) •Sleep disorders •Substance abuse •Adult ADHD (attention deficit/hyperactive disorder) •BDD (body dysmorphic disorder) •Chronic pain •Fibromyalgia •Stress What do we do with this information? We dance We can become enlightened to the fact that we are not alone in our solitude and others are having panic when the solitude is threatened. We know the reason for the behaviors and we know that it all can start to interfere with life and relationships. It is like 'being' hurts and your dreams scare you, not when you are sleeping but when you are daring yourself to dream big, to succeed, try something new or just do something like go to a mall. When you want to be famous but the utter thought of it makes you physically sick, these are contradictions you struggle with and start to plant yourself in a mode of survival. When anxiety disorders are a force that takes over your life, you shelter yourself from embarrassment that does not exist, disappointments that have not happened and judgments’ that only you know about. It is exhausting to evaluate yourself constantly. Trying to guess other people’s reactions consumes you and invites panic and that feeling you dread. Avoiding situations starts to bring comfort from the panic and the mental and physical pains you feel. If I could only disappear. I envy the possession of an invisibility cloak! I stopped dancing…. When thrown into thought, knowing that to succeed and to make things happen, I needed to promote myself. I have spent too much time finding ways not to exist and endlessly trying to find approval for every thought and idea. Constantly searching for inspiration, guidance and direction and surrounding myself with tons of life coaches, quotes, articles and self-help books. Everyone knowing more than me; when I happen to find some inspiration, a spark of goal setting or dream making guidance, I had become a master of destruction and set up the process of unworthiness and failure solidifying why all the great advice was not for me. Now I knew this was happening, that I was my own worst enemy and I realized I had stopped dancing. In my daily search of ‘help me out of this hole’ I realized that I needed to write my bio with powerfully positive words…not just words on paper but words that were truths and I really needed to believe those words. I read other bios and found one that impressed me the most, one stood out. The words flew off the screen and I liked this person, no clue who she was but liked her. Then it hit me, like a paper air plane that had been waiting to land, I had been trying to write about myself in a particular way, so it would sound good to others, so it would be ‘up to snuff’, so it would be proper, ‘good enough to get in the door’, set to guidelines and so on. Who exactly was I trying to write about? I had no belief that I was awesome, so when I try to write a bio it was just a bunch of fluff. I forgot to dance….. Crank up the music and dance like no one is watching. I had searched for examples of bios, almost wishing I could be someone else to make it easier to write my own. Then I remembered all I had to do was dance, I am happy when I dance, it feels good, great exercise, mind relaxing……so when I remembered to dance….. I am a sexy, fun loving woman who believes that sometimes dancing in your pajama pants as the sun streams through the windows makes you a star in your own show. Laughter and fun to start a day, then share it with the world because everyone needs to dance. Don't hide it, just dance. Listen now to the podcast episode about depression and anxiety

    • 3 Life Changing Steps to Self Possession

      What is Self Possession? ​ Control of your own behavior, self-command , will power , self-will , possession firmness of purpose... Self Confidence I know I was thinking spirits possessing me too. I watch too many ghost shows. ​ Have you been bombarded with self help these days? Every email. meme, post, commercial even, telling you to love yourself, be positive, be freakin' happy! ​ We are surrounded with judgement about being judgey. We are the ones judging ourselves while judging others judging themselves. I think We live in circles of complicated nice Step One: ​ You Got This! ​ Before you start with the sarcastic 'Thanks Amber, Really?' ​ I am totally serious! Put it this way, you may have heard this inspirational phrase before, I have a sticker on my door that says it, but... ​ What is the alternative to You got this? YUP, the opposite is that you don't got it. ​ Take this step to tell yourself that you DO have this. You can handle it because you have to. The alternatives are worse than the fear, the anxiety, the loneliness. The alternative is you losing yourself because you did not 'Got' (get) this. ​ ​ When my mom became ill, I asked how I could possibly live without her? She only said three words, "You Just Do" Morale of that story. I DID and I still DO ​ The lessons of my past are now becoming just that, Lessons ​ I 'GOT' This because my past, present and future are owned by me. The way I react to situations, what I do with my time, is all on me. ​ *Learn from yourself (everything up until right this very moment is a well prepared lesson plan) *Look inside of you first, you are smarter than you think *You have the key to every situation, not to change what surrounds you but to react to the situation that is best for this lesson that is playing out. Step Two: ​ Practice being you' ​ No one has actually died from embarrassment, at least not to my knowledge. ​ We practice habits without knowing it. Repetition and exposure of the same thing makes us comfortable. Although sometimes our comfort is not always beneficial to our self confidence. Comfort Zones get a bad wrap, and they should, even if they sound all warm and fuzzy (I do like a soft cozy blanket though) Our zones trap us into our own little bubbles. Inside these bubbles we have a hard time growing. Self growth is a special part of our existence and a huge, influential part of what gives us confidence. When you want to do something new and something that challenges you to leave that comfortable state of being, it will take practice. You need to do it over and over again so that you make new comfortable states in your life. Be aware that fear and anxiety can bully you back into to the comfort zone. ​ Take this step to face the fear or whatever you think keeps you all cozy and deters you from being confident in yourself. Accept that practicing being you (the self possessed you) is an actually thing. It is a thing or state in your life that allows you to get good at something, to excel outside of the comfort zone. Once again, repeat this - No One Dies of Embarrassment or falling out of their comfort zone, although you might imagine that it is painful. ​ Years ago I was asked to speak in front of a large group of people. I was to talk about how successful I had been in my home business. My coach at the time, set it up despite my objections and constant whining. I was told that I could inspire others and it was important. Continuously telling my coach I would surely barf, his reaction was "I will stand up there with you and hold a bucket" Morale of that story. I DID not barf or die. ​ Practice because not all things are easy but most are worth it. ​ *Perfection is a myth or a creature you will never see but still try to. *Only you can do something different and break the habit of surrounding yourself in comfort. *The one telling you CAN'T is you. Step Three: ​ No More 'What ifs' ​ Have you ever wished you would have, could have or should have done something, but you feel the time has passed and you mourn the opportunity that could have been? What if? Regret is a trouble maker.😈 ​ Regret is related to perceived opportunity. It arrives in your now but is over a decision or action of the past. Although we learn from our mistakes allowing them to follow us and make us feel sadness, loss of control and making us wonder if the past will repeat itself, deters us from full self possession. ​ Wondering 'IF' stunts our growth. There is only one way to find out what will happen 'IF' we do something. DO IT ​ Take this step to challenge yourself. Instead of asking "what if I do this" , you do it and tell the story. Learn from doing it and let others learn from you. Take any regret and feeling of loss about the missed opportunity or undesirable outcome; turn it into a valuable life lesson. Turn it into a positive tool for yourself and others. ​ ​ I was the perfect punisher of past mistakes. Had it down to a science. Most of my regrets had to do with remembering embarrassing moments. Actions that I took in the past that made me doom. "If I would have just done this instead of that!" My self confidence waived because I was afraid that if I did it then, it could happen again. So...I lost self possession, my regrets of not being able to control how I felt in a situation gave me ample opportunity to stay in a comfort zone, for protection. Morale of that story. I DID learn from my mistakes. ​ What Ifs can be positive weapons to conquer doubt IF you turn them into actions instead. ​ *Allow yourself to make mistakes. *Give yourself full license to cry. Grieve full throttle, over the big and small stuff. Get uncomfortable and explore good, bad and ugly feelings. Add them to your life lessons. *It is OKAY not to be OKAY and it is also OKAY to be OKAY. 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